Redefining My Relationship with Alcohol

Like many Americans, I'm a mutt — most of my heritage is a blend of Italian and Irish. Growing up, alcohol was a part of family functions. It was something the adults enjoyed, that helped them to relax. In time, I came to like adult beverages too.

But I also saw the dark side of alcohol.

Quite a few of my family members have suffered from alcoholism, and some have died from it. I've seen what it does to the people I love — how it can twist them and make them cruel when they're in its thrall.

As a clinician in healthcare, I've seen even worse. It seems like a week doesn't go by without me caring for a patient who drove under the influence and got into an accident, or worse, killed someone.

I've also cared for the victims: people going about their daily lives, only to have those lives torn apart or ended by someone else's choice to drive impaired.

It never gets easier.

And let's face it, some of those drivers may have only had a drink or two. But as the commercials say, "Buzzed driving is drunk driving."

Since I started working in healthcare, whenever I drink outside my home, I've made a point of having a designated driver or getting a cab — or an Uber, once that became widespread. I never wanted to make the mistake of killing or hurting someone while under the influence. I don't think it's something I could ever get over. It would end my career, and I honestly don't think I could live with myself.

So alcohol has always been on my mind.

Like many, I enjoy a good buzz, of that warm, fuzzy feeling and being relaxed. I think many of the things we do — alcohol and drugs, but also books, movies and video games — offer some degree of escape from the hardships and pressures of reality. Some are clearly less dangerous than others, however. I’d say books and movies are pretty benign on the grand scale of things when taken to excess.

About two years ago, my cousin Jake and I did Sober October.

I won't lie: I hated it at the time. But as I've become more focused on my health and longevity, I decided to come back to it this year. I asked another friend if he'd be interested in doing it with me, and he was.

So we did Sober October. I'll confess, I had some drinks on the 23rd and the 31st, and I told my friend — who, interestingly enough, is also named Jake. He was my accountability partner, after all. So I officially "lost" our challenge. But October 23rd was my dad's birthday, and I was flying out for work on November 1st, so the night before, my wife and I had a little night out.

I'm less focused on the fact that I didn't make it the full 31 days. What matters to me more is that I've seen and felt the benefits of cutting back On my alcohol consumption. Since then, my drinking feels more limited and thoughtful, and less like a compulsion or a ritual.

With my Oura ring, I can see objective data on alcohol's negative impact on my sleep, and I can feel it the next day, too. I'm sure the numbers on each Oura report have a placebo effect of sorts, but I can't deny the correlation between what I see objectively and what I feel subjectively.

My stretch of abstinence let me reset my system and get a better grip on what's going on with my body. One of my favorite analogies to share with our kiddo is that life is like a stream, and we're in a kayak or canoe. All we can really do is steer — and sometimes we can't even do that. Life takes us down unexpected twists and turns, for good and for ill.

But we choose how we take care of our canoe. And it's never too late to give it a little TLC.

I have a few goals for improving my health and have really been focused on achieving them this past year. Like many Americans, one of the biggest I've struggled with is my weight. But I've been working systematically through each part of my lifestyle, focusing on one pillar at a time.

I'm pleasantly surprised to see that redefining my relationship with alcohol of all things, came from a simple challenge with a friend. I still enjoy it, and I don't condemn anyone who does as well. As I said before, we all need our escapes.

But it feels good to know that I'm the one in control, and that I don't need it nearly as much as I thought. What's more important to me, especially this past year, is feeling good day to day.

We're all on a clock here, and I want as much quality time as I can get.

That's the rant for now.

Until next time, stay frosty.